Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend: 116 Ideas by Theme

116 questions to ask your girlfriend, by theme

Pick a relaxed moment, read one out and answer it yourself too: it works best as a swap, not an interview. Skip any question that does not fit. Every question is a real card from one of our free couples games, and each group says which one, so you can keep going there.

Getting to know her: favourites and everyday habits

From How Well Do You Know Me?, packs “Favourites” and “Daily habits”. Ask her to pick the answer that is most her, and guess before she says. The options are in brackets.

1. My favourite hot drink is… (Coffee / Tea / Hot chocolate / Just water, thanks)
2. My favourite kind of dessert is… (Chocolate anything / Fruity and fresh / Ice cream / Warm and baked)
3. My favourite way to have breakfast: (Eggs, any style / Cereal or porridge / Pancakes or toast / Fruit and yoghurt)
4. The music that makes me sing along: (Old classics / Current pop hits / Rock or metal / Songs from my childhood)
5. I love getting a gift that is… (Handmade / Really useful / An experience / A surprise treat)
6. If I could only eat one cuisine: (Italian / Asian / Mexican / Home-style cooking)
7. On screen I love stories that are… (Really funny / Full of mystery / Heart-warming / Epic adventures)
8. On a rainy day I most want to… (Read with a warm drink / Binge a series / Cook something yummy / Take a long nap)
9. The way I like to enjoy music: (Headphones on a walk / Loud in the car / Live at a concert / Background while I cook)
10. When I'm stressed I usually… (Go quiet / Talk it all out / Clean or organise / Reach for a snack)
11. In the morning I am… (Up at the first alarm / A dedicated snoozer / Slow, needs coffee first / Annoyingly chirpy)
12. When I can't sleep I… (Scroll my phone / Let my thoughts run / Read a little / Go find a snack)
13. After a long day I most want… (Couch and a series / A walk or workout / To cook a nice dinner / To see friends)
14. My usual bedtime is… (Before 10 / Around 11 / Past midnight / Whenever I drop off)
15. When plans change last minute I… (Roll with it / Need a moment / Make a new plan fast / Secretly love it)
16. My texting style is… (Instant replies / I reply when I can / Voice notes / Memes and emojis)
17. Getting ready to go out takes me… (10 minutes / About 30 minutes / An hour or more / Depends on the plan)
18. When I'm really happy I… (Sing or hum / Laugh out loud / Tell everyone / Smile quietly)
19. When I'm waiting in line I… (Scroll my phone / People-watch / Daydream / Get fidgety)
20. To recharge I need… (Time alone / Time with you / Time with friends / Time in nature)
21. In a disagreement I tend to… (Say it right away / Cool off first / Think, then talk / Lighten it with a joke)
22. When I get home I first… (Change into comfy clothes / Check the fridge / Flop on the sofa / Put on some music)

Deep questions

From Deep Questions for Couples. Take your time, and ask one follow-up before you share your own answer.

1. Which younger version of you would you like to give a hug to, and what would you say?
2. What is a mistake from your past that you are oddly grateful for now?
3. How did your family show love when you were little, and how does that show up in you today?
4. If you could revisit one ordinary day from your past just to watch it, which would you pick?
5. What have you changed your mind about completely since you were younger?
6. What does fairness mean to you inside a relationship?
7. What is a piece of advice you actually followed, and one you cheerfully ignored?
8. When do you feel most like yourself?
9. What do you wish people were more honest about?
10. What does real rest look like for you, and what do you do when you truly need it?
11. How do you hope the people around you would describe you when you are not in the room?
12. What is a worry about the future that feels smaller once you say it out loud?
13. What is on your someday list that you have hardly told anyone about?
14. What worries you a little about getting older, and what excites you about it?
15. What is a dream you let slide that you might want to bring back?
16. What would make you feel proud when you look back on this decade?

Fun and silly

From Who's More Likely To (answer by pointing at one of you) and Hot Takes for Couples (agree or disagree, then defend it).

1. Who is more likely to walk into a room and forget why?
2. Who is more likely to answer a text three days late?
3. Who is more likely to steal the blanket at night?
4. Who is more likely to need a coffee before saying a word?
5. Who is more likely to say "five more minutes" and mean an hour?
6. Who is more likely to pick a karaoke song and go all in?
7. Who is more likely to laugh at their own joke first?
8. Who is more likely to make up a silly song about dinner?
9. Who is more likely to hide and jump out to scare the other?
10. Who is more likely to dress up for no reason at all?
11. Who is more likely to do a funny voice just to make the other laugh?
12. Who is more likely to turn a boring errand into a game?
13. Agree or disagree? “Sharing one dessert beats ordering your own”
14. Agree or disagree? “Ice cream is a year-round food, even in the snow”
15. Agree or disagree? “Coffee always tastes better when someone else makes it”
16. Agree or disagree? “Pet names are adorable, and the cheesier the better”
17. Agree or disagree? “A handwritten note beats a text every time”
18. Agree or disagree? “Karaoke is fun even if you cannot sing”
19. Agree or disagree? “Rom-coms are underrated”
20. Agree or disagree? “A road trip with a good playlist beats flying”

Cute and flirty (PG-13)

From Flirty Questions for Couples. Sweet, playful and a little romantic, and nothing explicit.

1. What does my laugh do to you? Be as dramatic as you like.
2. What tiny habit of mine do you find secretly adorable?
3. What compliment would you like to give me more often?
4. What do you love most about how we talk to each other?
5. Which memory of us makes you grin when nobody's watching?
6. How do you feel the second I walk into the room?
7. What makes you feel most special when you're with me?
8. If you could freeze one moment with me, which would it be?
9. What's the cheesiest line that would actually work on you?
10. What would you text me at 5 pm if you wanted my full attention?
11. What nickname would you give me if I couldn't say no?
12. Make up a pick-up line using something you can see right now.
13. If our love story were a movie genre, which one would it be?
14. Pretend we just met at a party. What's your opening line?
15. If we had a secret code word for "I'm thinking of you", what would it be?
16. What does a perfect cuddle on the sofa look like to you?
17. If I wrote you a love note today, what would you want it to say?
18. Describe a rainy day that turns into the best day ever with me.
19. What song should play for our next slow dance in the kitchen?
20. We have a whole evening with no phones. What do we do?
21. What little touch from me always makes you melt?
22. What's one romantic thing you'd like us to try this month?

About us

From Our Story: Memory Lane and the “About us” pack of How Well Do You Know Me?.

1. What do you remember about our first date: where we went, what we ate, what we talked about?
2. What's a small detail from the early days that you've never forgotten?
3. What song, place or smell takes you straight back to when we were new?
4. When did you first feel completely comfortable being yourself around me?
5. Do you remember the first time one of us said "I love you"? How did it feel?
6. What's an inside joke of ours, and where did it start?
7. What's a place that now feels like "ours", and what makes it ours?
8. Describe a perfect evening we've had that cost almost nothing.
9. What's a quiet moment together you'd put in a jar to keep forever?
10. What's a time we were completely in sync without saying a word?
11. What's a little habit of mine that you've grown to love over time?
12. What's something you've picked up from me that you're glad about?
13. What's a challenge we got through together that made us stronger?
14. When did you realise you could really count on me?
15. How have we changed each other for the better since we've been together?
16. What would you like to thank me for, from any point since we've been together?
17. My first impression of you was… (Funny / Calm / Confident / Mysterious)
18. The nicest thing you do for me: (Make me laugh / Make my coffee or tea / Remember small things / Say it will be okay)
19. When we're apart I miss… (Your voice / Your hugs / Our jokes / Our little routines)
20. I'd happily relive one thing with you: (Our first date / A favourite trip / A lazy random day / Our first hello)
21. A tradition I'd love for us: (A weekly date / A yearly trip / Sunday breakfast / Sunset walks)

The future: dreams and plans

From the “Looking ahead” pack of Our Story: Memory Lane and the “Dreams” pack of How Well Do You Know Me?.

1. What's something you'd like us to do more of, even if it's tiny?
2. What's a place we haven't been that you can picture us in?
3. Describe a perfect weekend for us a year from now.
4. Name three things for our bucket list that we should start ticking off.
5. What's a challenge you'd like us to take on together, big or small?
6. What would a perfect day for the two of us look like in five years?
7. What do you hope we're still laughing about in ten years?
8. If we wrote a letter to ourselves to open in ten years, what's the first line you'd put in it?
9. My dream holiday is… (A beach / A city break / A mountain trek / A road trip)
10. My dream home is… (A house by the sea / A cottage in the woods / A city apartment / A farm in the countryside)
11. I'd most love to see… (The northern lights / Ancient ruins / A famous world city / A giant waterfall)
12. In five years I hope to be… (Somewhere new / Settled and happy / Growing my career / Doing what I love)
13. My dream retirement is… (Travelling nonstop / A garden and quiet / By the sea / Busy with hobbies)
14. One day I'd love us to… (Take a huge trip / Build a cosy home / Learn something new / Watch a sunrise abroad)
15. The trip I'd take tomorrow: (A week on a beach / Island hopping / Trains across a country / A cabin in the snow)

Questions to send over text

• Send one at a time, ideally a short one with options, like the favourites in the first group. It takes her a second to answer.
• Give her room: some answers deserve a voice note or a call, and a slow reply is fine.
• Answer your own question too, and keep it playful rather than rapid-fire.
• Save the deep ones for a call or a face-to-face evening. Tone is hard to carry in writing.

Questions for a date night

• Match a group to each part of the evening: fun ones while you wait for the food, about-us over dessert, the future on the walk home.
• Put phones away, unless you are playing the cards from one phone.
• Take turns choosing the next question.
• End on something warm: tell her one thing you enjoyed about her tonight.

You are asking, not interviewing. If she gives a short answer, that is fine: share something of your own, change the subject, or come back another day.

Which group for which moment

There is no required order. Follow her mood.

Play it free online

1. Open How Well Do You Know Me? (or any game from the groups above) and choose Same phone or Online.
2. Choose a pack (or Mix) and the number of rounds or cards, then press Start.
3. Online, tap Play a friend, then Create table, and send her the invite link or the 6-character code. She joins from her phone or computer, no account needed.
4. In the card decks, read each card aloud, answer, ask one follow-up and tap Next card. In How Well Do You Know Me? and Hot Takes for Couples you each answer in secret, guess the other's pick, then compare.

For a slower evening, start with Deep Questions for Couples. More ideas: our guide to deep questions for couples and the full list of games for couples.

Why asking questions works

Researchers have long studied how sharing personal things step by step helps people feel close. A well-known 1997 study by psychologist Arthur Aron and colleagues had pairs of strangers answer 36 questions that grew gradually more personal, and the pairs reported feeling closer afterwards. It does not mean a list of questions creates love. It does suggest that taking turns, listening and sharing a little more each time is a good way to connect, and that is how these cards are meant to be used.

Frequently asked questions

Related guides

• How Well Do You Know Me?Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend: 100+ Fun, Deep and Flirty Ideas
• Deep Questions for CouplesDeep Questions for Couples: 50+ Conversation Starters to Ask Your Partner
• Flirty Questions for CouplesFlirty Questions for Couples: 50 Sweet and Playful Ones to Ask Your Partner

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