This or That Questions for Couples: How to Play (and What They Reveal)
The best way to play This or That with your partner is to pick first, then guess what the other one picked, and finish every round with one "why?". It takes about five minutes, works on one phone or long distance, and you can play it free online. Use the date night pack for a cosy evening and the dreams pack for deeper talk.
Three ways to play This or That as a couple
GameLake's This or That is built around "guess my pick", with room for a "why?" after every reveal.
| Way to play | How it goes | Best for |
|---|---|---|
| Rapid fire | Ask question after question, answer in one second, no explaining. | Breaking the ice, car rides |
| Guess my pick | Pick, then guess your partner's pick. Score a point for each right guess. | Couples who like a little game |
| Why ladder | After each answer, ask "why?" once, then "what is a memory of that?". | Date night, long calls |
What your answers can tell you
This or That is a game, not a test, but small choices often point to bigger preferences. Here are a few from the date night and everyday packs, and the conversation each one can open:
| The choice | A good follow-up |
|---|---|
| Planning everything or going with the flow | How should we plan our next trip? |
| A surprise party or a quiet celebration | How do you want to celebrate your next birthday? |
| A handwritten note or a voice message | How do you feel most cared for? |
| Dinner out or cooking together | What dish should we learn to cook together? |
| A picnic or a candlelit dinner | What was your favourite date so far? |
If you pick differently, ask "what do you like about yours?" instead of "why not mine?". You are collecting information, not settling a vote.
How to play This or That online with your partner
- Open This or That and choose Online, then Play a friend.
- Choose a pack (Date night is a good start) and 8 or 12 rounds, then create the table.
- Send your partner the link or the 6-character code. They join from their phone or computer, no account needed.
- Both of you pick, both of you guess, and the answers are revealed together.
It works the same on the same sofa (choose Same phone and pass it over) and across time zones, and there is a Daily 5 you can do together every evening. For more ideas, see our guide to card games for couples and the full list of games for couples.
Make it a habit
- Play the Daily 5 at the same time every day: three minutes, the same five questions for both of you.
- Swap packs every week: everyday, then date night, then travel, then dreams.
- Keep a note of your favourite answers and surprises. They make great ideas for the next date.
Frequently asked questions
What are good This or That questions for couples?
Good ones mix light and personal: dinner out or cooking together, stargazing or city lights, a surprise party or a quiet celebration. The date night pack in GameLake's This or That has 20 of them.
How do you play This or That with a partner?
Take turns choosing between two options and say why. In the guess-my-pick version both of you choose, then guess each other's choice, and every correct guess scores a point.
Can long-distance couples play This or That online?
Yes. Choose Online, create a table, send your partner the link and play from anywhere. You both see the same questions and the answers are revealed at the same time.
What if we get a low score?
A low score just means there is more to discover. Hops will point out one answer worth talking about, and the "Keep discovering" button starts a new set of questions.
How long does a game take?
Eight rounds take about five minutes and twelve rounds about eight. The Daily 5 takes around three minutes.